My fragile heart hurts

My heart is broken, so does my life?

I've been in the thought as to why Nigeria's veteran vocalist and song writer "Olawale Oloforo" pka BRYMO named one of the songs - “Heartbreak Songs are better in English” - from his latest project titled YELLOW released on the 1^st of April, 2020. I’d loved to give a detailed write up to what surreal act of art BRYMO did on this album, but that’s definitely not for this particular article and that’s if there’d be any room for it at all.

Before I delve into details, I’d like to point out that the solely and major motive behind my writing is to unburden my thoughts, to create space in my head to accumulate some more new thought. This is basically what writing means to me.

In lieu of that, permit me to dive into details of why you clicked on this link. While I was reminiscing on what BRYMO meant by that particular phrase relatively having titled it - “Heartbreak songs are better in English” -, I couldn’t arrive at a desired conclusion in actual alignment to this claim and the fact that it's quite hard to pick out a heartbreak song that’s not written in English language makes it a bit more challenging, not until I finally create time to digest in between the lines every single word to phrase then to sentences that makes up the song, then I got the exact message he's passing across which brings me to a personal perspective that the title is a disguise to acknowledging a fact and simultaneously dishing out a disapproval impression. Well, that is why BRYMO is BRYMO, he leaves you with thought provoking contents, then you make personal time out to decipher.

All that being said, also I listened CHIKE’s “Out of Love" from his debut album titled “Boo of the Booless”. At first listening, I thought it was out rightly a love song not until after subsequent listening, the phrase “Out of love" hits me and got me out of the fantasy of a melodious world that which CHIKE's voice placed me, the type that could turn a heartbreak song into a love reaffirmation pronouncement.

I assume you all will agree with me how soul denting a heartbreak can be, at least some of you will if not all. Writing from experience, I've had my own share of it. I was quite young and naive then, but one thing was certain, I was helplessly in love and in a split second it all turned out vague. I tried curbing it, but there was no hiding place for me any more. It was all sweet and rosy not until the ship of love capsized, it sank gradually till it was out of sight, trust me, it’s not a good place for anyone to be. I did everything I could to bury it all and move on with my life, I went at length to google search remedies/tips to get over with a heartbreak and favourably, most quotes/contents from different sources I found were all against payback or longing for your partner’s regret. I had most of these tips written in one of my notes then, I wish I could still lay my hand on it when I'm back to Lagos. It’s understandable that things didn’t work out, doesn’t necessary makes s/he the worst person on earth. Come to think of it, there could’ve been a continuation of deceit that will only elongate the break up. The lengthier it takes, the more difficult healing requires, so I’m glad she came out plain in all sincerity of heart, rather than wasting my precious time. Well, you don’t expect that I laughed through it like it’s nothing because it’s a whole lot to take in.

It’s quite devastating to see how this generation reacts to opposite sex partners in a happy relationship, there you see loads of deteriorating speculations and derailing comments like the common saying “it will end in hot tears". Literally, quite a number has ended in hot tears, but doesn’t displace the existence of true relationships that stood the test of time, through the thick and thin and have grown stronger overtime.

Having to deal with heartbreak is a herculean task but it’s achievable in just a matter of time. To curtail this period of time for your own sanity, do away with any thought of making your ex regret leaving you. If you dwell on proving points as to what she’s missing out, you’d be surprised how much time of your life you’ve wasted. Stick to your guns, get yourself together, engage more in things that you love doing and spend time more with those you cherish the most. Having at the back of your mind, whatever will be, will surely be, this is not meant to be, so we move. You should be glad it ended sooner or later rather than brooding on why there is no more, and above all see PEACE with yourself.

Heartbreak took a heavy toll on me that it wrecked my pride, self-esteem, to mentioned a few, part was that I stopped believing in myself, more like an underdog, I never felt good enough or worthy of any one. Maybe I wasn’t so much of a Casanova - womanizer -, but I usually keep about two, three to four girlfriends at a time, and to me that was all that life entails, not until I lost them all with nothing to lose because it was all lust, I could at least speak for myself, then I met this new babe and she became everything I desired. It fore-told a together forever tale of love which made the break up caught up with me unaware - like anyone ever prepares for such anyway - and I felt defeated, to the point that I couldn’t bid courage to walk up to another person to kick start a new affair, mainly for the fear of being in a cycle. Every single time I wanted to try again, then it dawn on me and make me fill like I’m not good enough for anyone else. I know quite a lot has wondered why I took this long being single, well now you know a bit of it. So, if you’re breaking someone’s heart, just know this is similar to what you’re doing to them. I’m not all out here to put an end to breakups, that’s definitely will be fetching water into a basket, regardless, if you are sure you don’t want to have anything to do with your partner again, do well to let them know on time, the longer you take, the tougher it becomes for you two so it makes two peas in a pod wallowing on the path of doom. Ask Robert and Melinda of Tyler Perry’s Acrimony for more.

Another vital thing is the kind of company you keep, if your friends are all about haunting you with old memories that opens up a healing wound, trust me, you should make do away with such company asap. Also, to you friend, if you can’t do your bit to help to a heartbroken friend, give them the desired space to heal up completely and don’t in anyway add fuel to a fire already ablaze.

It is quite important to note this too, if you’re not sure of what your heart longs for yet, considerably remain single, going into another relationship immediately will only complicate things for an innocent person trying all s/he could just to love you. I can't overemphasize this, because every reasonable person should know better.

This is not compulsory, but I want to implore you all to listen to the song “Heartbreak songs are better in English", then you’ll know that heartbreak is no respecter of your humanly status, if proper caution is not taken, there is every possibility of it having a great toll on your personality shattering it into pieces making you a shadow of yourself. Do you even need a song or a soothsayer to tell this to you? maybe some people do, you never can tell.

I will like to conclude with a question, and it is: What’s your take on still being friends with your ex or keep your distance? More like, is friendship still feasible after breakup? You two still get along like nothing never happened. I will like to hear from you in the comment section.

Thanks for reading through once again.

DeeVaL.